No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
being pregnant is like rehab
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
