Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
