I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
