I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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