I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize