White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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