Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
