i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
