I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
