you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
