if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
