road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
