i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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