I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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