I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
