I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
BRING THE BAGELS
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
