the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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