I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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