Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
