i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
