Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I looked at my own cervix.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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