Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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