so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
