Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
