We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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