I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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