they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
