Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
