suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
