I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
