ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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