i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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