I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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