i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
