He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
