Betty ford says i'm here all night
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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