I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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