I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
