I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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