the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
