He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
