I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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