I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
