ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
