Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
