She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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