ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
