Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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