Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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