There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
