I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize