you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
