I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
