i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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