Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
PANTIES FOUND
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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