dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize