I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
