Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
