This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
