maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
did you just send me my own nude
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
