Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
