Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize