you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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